Dominating Carlisle 2s on their own turf, putting eight past them in an 8-0 masterclass. From the get-go, it was all Newcastle – every player brimming with confidence.

Luke was on fire, smashing in four goals like it was a training session—Carlisle’s defence had no answers. Besford chipped in with two of his own, calmly finishing both chances, while Joel and Alok each added one to round out the scoring.

Goalkeeper Guy had a leisurely afternoon — Carlisle rarely troubled the backline. Guy could’ve set up a deck chair with how little work he had to do. Hawk was awarded the DoD after somehow managing to miss an open goal. It takes a special kind of talent to pull that off in a game this one-sided!

Post-match celebrations were as epic as the game itself. Most of the team took the train back to Newcastle, kicking off a legendary pub crawl. Despite numerous setbacks including closed pubs, a DIY train replacement bus service and a frantic search for food, a fantastic time was had by all. Not every player made it to the finish line however. Wheeler, who expertly dealt with two attackers at once just hours earlier, was now utterly defeated by a meal and a glass of water and so headed back early with other players in tow. Some continuing players reportedly managed to consume a legendary number of pints, making sure this away day will be remembered for both the scoreline and the celebrations, albeit not by players with tallies rumoured to approach the mythical baker’s dozen.

Match report by Andrew Young