It was another weekend of trials and tribulations for the Newcastle 2s, who made their third consecutive trip to Teeside, though this time the squad was looking a bit like a patchwork quilt—depleted by injury, illness, and suspension. Before a ball was even hit, we were worried for a few of the lads, 7 of the team struck by this Kawasaki virus (thanks Laurence). Keith, for example, was already braying the front door down and racking up his steps for the day in search of the facilities, desperately trying to maintain his 8-inch grip on a 9-inch rope. Who knew there'd be so much cardio before a match?

We started brightly enough, but it wasn’t long before disaster struck. A wicked deflection left us reeling: A quick break into the top-left of the D saw a well-hit shot from Stockton ricochet off the skipper’s stick and find its way into the bottom-right corner. A cruel blow, but we dusted ourselves off and got right back into it.

And it wasn’t long before Newcastle struck. Tweddle played a ball into the 23, which Neil—no stranger to chaos—picked up. What followed was something out of a video game on amateur. Neil weaved past the last three defenders, dodged 472 stick tackles, spun the keeper around, and finished with a reverse stick shot into the net. 1-1. Job done. Or so we thought.
Next up: Will. Always reliable for a card at Egglescliffe, and this time he came through in style. A leading shoulder earned him a customary green, but somehow was spared from any DOD votes.

1-1 at half-time.

The second half started much like the first, with Newcastle tightening up the middle, but Stockton continued to pile on the pressure. Tom Massey was putting in one of those shifts that has 'Man of the Match' written all over it, and despite Stockton having the lion's share of chances, we stood firm. Every shot seemed to miss by inches or was thwarted by Tom Mc, who was channeling his inner Gandalf. You shall not pass! A particularly heroic moment came when Tom launched himself in a last-ditch dive over his shoulder to clear one off the line. A performance deserving of MOM, just pipping his namesake to the accolade.

Newcastle came close again midway through the half, breaking down the right with afterburners on. Neil sprinted past the fullback, hit the byline, and pulled it back for Tweddle. The ball trickled agonizingly wide of the far post and with it the chance to take the lead passed.

At that moment, the tension was palpable, and the game was hanging by a thread.

Ultimately, the game was decided by a turnover near the Newcastle 23. A quick, clinical interception saw Stockton charge into the D and bury the ball in the far corner. It was a harsh blow, but at least we had one last chance to salvage something.

In the dying minutes, Newcastle showed some fight, earning a series of short corners after what can only be described as a full-on assault on one of our players. The umpires, no doubt struck by the sheer brutality of the challenge, agreed it was more "ABH" than "just a bit of banter." The crowd’s collective gasp confirmed that this was not Neymar-level theatrics.

The resulting corner was an absolute rocket from Tom, which whizzed past Will’s ear and lodged itself permanently in the fence. The metal bars were bent, and the ball nestled eight feet from the ground. Tom attests it was almost in, but the jury is still out on that one.

So, at full time, the score stood at 2-1 to Stockton. Not the result we were hoping for, but there were definitely some moments of brilliance to be proud of.

MOM: Tom Mc—Kept us in the game with some heroic saves and goal-line clearances.
DOD: Neil—Clearly not Neymar.

Here's to next week where we play, you guessed it… a team from Teeside.

Match report by Neil Dale